I never used to be very popular in school. I made friends and great grades, but I was never into being superficial in order to secure friendships. I was always timid, shy, afraid to talk to anyone. It wasn’t until very very recently that I found out that there is literally no reason on earth to ever feel like that in a social setting. Why do we always keep our mouths shut when we have something to say? Why do we let things just happen to us, too afraid to stand up for ourselves and others? Wait a minute. Who is stopping me? Who is actually keeping me from doing all these things? Myself. I had created an entire universe in my mind where I was the stupid idiot, stupid for asking questions, just plain stupid and not good enough period. It’s amazing how we can do that to ourselves, our innocent souls who are really just trying to get along with the world. Why should we dump that unnecessary burden on someone so undeserving? So then, I began to question myself. Why do you talk to yourself like that? More importantly, how can you let yourself talk like that? Who told you that was okay? Then, after a full self-evaluation and interrogation, I decided that I deserve more from myself. I am a human being, fully deserving of dignity and respect, and I owed it to Madeleine to be more loving. Now when I look back on my 23 years of life, I am so proud to have come so far in life. I am proud and thankful for my good judgement and rational decisions that have led me to this point. Maybe some moments not so rational, but in the end, I am exactly where I need to be, and there’s no one I can thank more than myself.
So who am I now? For those of you who know me, I shouldn’t have to go into much detail since you already know how silly I can be. But for those of you who don’t, I can now describe myself in words that I have never dared to use before. As of now, I consider myself sassy, smart, and beautiful. Why am I just now using these adjectives to describe me? Who knows. But the important thing is I have fully come to terms with how awesome I am, and I can already see myself on the path in the most beautiful direction one could take in life. Now, saying all this may seem vain at first, but I promise it is just speaking out of confidence and security. It is important for everyone to feel this way about themselves! Everyone on the planet has the power to fully accept and love themselves for exactly who they are, but little do they know this is the happiness everyone is searching for. A life without judgement or fear, a life without loneliness or anxiety.
When someone refers to you as “sassy”, you probably assume some negative connotations, or even associate it with being a bitch. Well, I prefer the internet’s definition a lot better, “lively, bold, and full of spirit”. I think it’s perfectly cool to be sassy, if not freaking awesome! I have come to enjoy owning this characteristic, because I know it means that I am full of life and laughter, silliness and spontaneity, and above all, I know how to respect myself. But we can’t forget to respect others while we show off our sass! To me, sassy is finding that balance, in between having a respectfully good time, but also being able to call someone out if they say something full of BS or out of line. I’ve also found that people gain respect for you if you can put them in check; it kinda puts things in perspective for them. I could be completely wrong, but now I can have fun conversations with anyone I meet! I’ve never thought I was that interesting, but apparently people get a kick outta me! 🙂
In addition to self-respect, you also need to carry yourself confidently. Confidence is key, literally. Because the moment you are sure of yourself, no one is going to question you. Confidence shows that you have everything in control, and that can be very intimidating considering not many people have their life figured out and under control. Not that we are trying to be necessarily intimidating, but it is good to be certain, both of yourself as an individual as well as the world around you.
Now if you don’t consider yourself smart, maybe you made decent grades or whatever, why don’t you??? You have a brain fully capable of mastering skills of wit and intelligence, so you are more than able to use it to THINK. In my opinion, being smart is just being willing to learn with an open mind. Adaptability always helps too, having the capacity to weigh all your options and consider possibilities. Being smart means respecting yourself enough to make decisions that reflect a better tomorrow! Understanding and managing the balance between work and play. It’s important to make careful decisions, whether it’s to have that fourth beer or studying for your biology exam or even to leave the city. This is your life, you are in control. So why not be a smart driver?! We create our own futures, so every single thing we say, do, and think counts.
Lastly, on intelligence, as a scientist, I think it is completely stupid that we have evolved capacity to feel and regulate emotion, yet we are sitting here still using primitive brain structures to eat, sleep, and attack. We as a species have evolved abilities to use reason and logic, critical thinking, and more. Are we just going to let all this go to waste while we sit in front of TVs and drown our thoughts in negativity and idiocy? I know that school seems like a waste of your life and boring and irrelevant, but I think gaining knowledge has to be one of the coolest things. We don’t really know what we are doing or why we are here, but why not live this time to its fullest, learn all we can, and hope to succeed? Whatever you decide, it’s part of my plan, so you can either join me or have fun living a boring life!
My favorite new word to describe myself is beautiful. Before about a year ago, I was always ashamed to say anything or refer to my looks. I don’t exactly understand where the source of this particular feeling comes from, but it’s time to nip it in the bud! Why are we sustaining a society that plays off of the insecurities of women? Why is it okay to let our daughters and sisters and cousins grow up feeling bad and insecure about themselves? Honestly, this refers to guys, too. I know y’all have insecurities just like us girls, and it’s time for you to dismiss them just the same! I learned that a) I have a really messed up unattainable idea of beauty and b) all beauty really boils down to being able to accept and embrace your flaws. Gap in your tooth? Rock it. A little less than fit, but still trying your best at moderation and balance? Good for you, dude! Can’t see without your glasses? Eyebuydirect.com. Stop complaining about things that you can’t change and learn to love that they are a part of who YOU are, the coolest person in the world. And what’s even better is if you CAN change it, then do it! You are always in control, remember that.
Beauty is all about being comfortable with who you are thoroughly and completely. Loving yourself is beautiful. Caring about and respecting your needs is beautiful. Respecting the community and environment around you is beautiful. Doing things solely out of love is aboslutely the most beautiful thing. So go be a light to the world, carrying yourself with sass, smarts, and beauty, sharing your gifts with everyone around you!